Some anxiety is normal -- like a fear of separation or the distress associated with doing something new for the first time. But other types of anxiety can be an indicator of an underlying anxiety disorder.
That’s why it’s important to be able to recognize normal anxiety in children -- and to know the difference between healthy anxiety and an actual anxiety disorder. Here’s what you need to know.
According to Worry Wise Kids, all children experience some anxiety in the form of worry, apprehension, dread, fear or distress. This is to be expected. After all, childhood is all about experiencing new things and learning to adapt to them.
However, kids can be secretive. That’s why it’s important to know what actually causes your child’s anxiety. Worry Wise Kids advises parents to do three things to both recognize and help kids deal with anxiety.
The first thing is to accept what your child is feeling. While concerns may sound silly to a parent, they are real to a child. So don’t dismiss concerns and shove them under the rug.
To do this, really listen to what your child is saying when it comes to anxiety. And tell your child that he or she has been heard. This will help to build trust when it comes to communication.
The second thing you need to do is to take note of how your child sees the world. This gives you the ability to distinguish between valid anxiety and misinformation. For example, if your child is concerned that there is a monster hiding under the bed, that’s a type of anxiety that is not valid. Instead of laughing this fear off as a joke, show your child that there is no monster hiding under the bed. While efforts to teach the child reality may take many patient attempts, he or she eventually will catch on.
This act also gives you the ability to see when a child’s fears are valid. Take, for example, a child’s demonstration of feeling sick. Your child may cry wolf when it comes to going to school, but he or she also may be truly ill. By recognizing the difference, you will increase the chance of your child continuing to tell you the truth in the future.
Finally, encourage your child to face his or her fears. Teach your child what fear looks like and how to proceed. This instills a sense of courage that he or she will take into life in the future.
It’s important to know the difference between normal childhood anxiety and possible anxiety disorders. In truth, many parents miss the signs. This can lead to a life of complications with no diagnosis or treatment until adulthood.
According to the Child Mind Institute, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness found in children. In fact, anxiety disorders affect one in eight children and account for more than 30 percent of mental illnesses. Unfortunately, 80 percent of children do not receive appropriate treatment.
The first thing you need to know is that if your child does have an anxiety disorder, it will most likely surface early. Experts say the most common age of onset is just six years old. So be on the lookout sooner rather than later.
You also need to know what disorders to look for. There are many anxiety disorders that can occur in children. These can include (but are not limited to) post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and anxiety related to certain phobias (like spiders or flying).
PTSD is usually related to a traumatic event. According to the ADAA, “Children with posttraumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, may have intense fear and anxiety, become emotionally numb or easily irritable, or avoid places, people or activities after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic or life-threatening event.” So if your child experiences trauma, look for signs associated with this disorder.
OCD is an illness of repetitiveness. According to the ADAA, “OCD is characterized by unwanted and intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and feeling compelled to repeatedly perform rituals and routines (compulsions) to try and ease anxiety.” OCD diagnosis usually occurs around age 10. However, it can affect children at a much younger age. OCD is often seen in girls and boys at different times. Boys are known to show signs of OCD prior to puberty, but girls may not show signs until adolescence.
GAD is associated with excessive anxiety in general. According to the ADAA, “If your child has generalized anxiety disorder, or GAD, he or she will worry excessively about a variety of things such as grades, family issues, relationships with peers and performance in sports.” Kids with GAD put extra pressure on themselves. In addition, they often seek approval.
Finally, an anxiety disorder may take the form of specific phobias. According to the ADAA, “A specific phobia is the intense, irrational fear of a specific object, such as a dog, or a situation, such as flying. Common childhood phobias include animals, storms, heights, water, blood, the dark and medical procedures.” If your child has a phobia, you will see it in avoidance behaviors or acting out.
So what do you do if your child has been diagnosed with an actual anxiety disorder? The ADAA says that there are many ways to be supportive in a healthy way.
The first is to notice your child’s feelings. Knowing your child’s patterns is essential. Look for the triggers behind the anxiety itself, and don’t overreact if your child does experience a bout of anxiety. In other words, stay calm.
Further, notice the progress that your child is making as a result of treatment. Reinforce this with praise. For example, if your child is afraid of the dark and spends the night without the lights on, celebrate this moment.
Finally, don’t hold your child to an exact timeline when it comes to progress. Children respond to treatment at different rates. So don’t scold your child for a setback or the inability to accomplish a goal. It will come in time.
Remember that anxiety disorders are not your fault. Your child can and will recover. It just takes practice and patience.