According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), social phobia is the fear of being judged or embarrassed in public. This can involve fear in the work environment, school and even social situations with friends. And those with social phobia struggle in a debilitating way -- far in advance of any given situation that makes them nervous.
According to the NIMH, social anxiety can manifest in a number of ways. For example, the NIMH reports that signing a check in line at a business could trigger anxiety, or using a bathroom at a store may set off similar feelings.
People who suffer from social anxiety know that it isn’t normal, but they feel powerless over these emotions. As a result, they may isolate themselves to avoid uncomfortable symptoms associated with these fears. The fears can vary from person to person. Some people may struggle with just one fear, but others may fear anything that involves being social.
NIMH says that there are clear signs of social phobia. Isolation, fear of judgment, advanced worry about an event that involves others, the concern of being embarrassed in public, struggling to maintain relationships, sweating or blushing and trembling in the presence of others, and feeling an all-around sensation of nausea are common symptoms that those with social anxiety face.
Interestingly, social phobia is also sometimes seen in families. An inability to decipher the behaviors of those around us may fuel it, and a lack of strong social skills can add to it. Stress and environmental factors may be a reason that this issue develops.
Check out these five techniques that you can use to relieve social anxiety in general.
Make small changes instead of taking large leaps.
According to the Mayo Clinic, practice making changes by taking small steps instead of large leaps. This begins with figuring out the personal factors that cause social anxiety. You can then expose yourself to these situations little by little.
In other words, don’t just jump right in. If you’re afraid of going to the store, begin with simply driving around the parking lot. Then work your way into walking up to the door, around the store and finally making a purchase. Consider bringing a friend of family member to help you.
Make a list of your fears, starting small and ending big.
According to Psych Central, an exposure hierarchy list can be helpful. Make a list of social anxiety triggers, listing items in order of how intense the fear is. You then work your way up the list, starting with the easiest activity and climbing your way up to the most difficult item.
Psych Central suggests creating a list of 10 items and rating them on a scale of zero to 100. Zero would be a situation that causes no anxiety, and 100 would be a situation that causes intense anxiety. They can be as simple as asking someone you don’t know for directions. And an end result could be speaking in public through an organization like Toastmasters, a public speaking club.
With practice, you will be able to check items off your list. Just remember that this may take time and several attempts to find the courage to face situations that you’ve itemized.
Challenge and change your thoughts about social situations.
According to Calm Clinic, another step that you can take to improve social anxiety is to work toward changing the way you think about situations that make you anxious. This involves challenging your thoughts by questioning why you feel the way you do and then thinking about alternatives to these thoughts. Calm Clinic suggests thinking about the most probable outcome of the situation you fear and how attached to the outcome you are.
Calm Clinic says that you can do this mentally or on paper. Just be clear in your thoughts. For example, if a person doesn’t see your humor, don’t blame yourself. Find a logical reason for this response. An example of this would be, “Maybe they didn't get the joke or heard it before. Maybe they didn't hear it or they're not the type of people that laugh out loud. Maybe they're shy, too.” You will then want to think of a likely outcome such as: “It's unlikely the single joke has caused someone to change their opinion of me. At worst, they may not find me funny, but most likely it's related to the specific joke or their sense of humor.” At this point, you can rank this in terms of how important it is to you. For example, Calm Clinic says that you may think: “Even if they did think less of me because of the joke, I am not sure why I care. I don't even know this person, and I'll probably never see them again. Their opinion of me doesn't matter. I am not sure why I am upset about it, but their opinion of me doesn't reflect how I should feel about myself.”
Have a plan for how you will deal with anxiety-inducing situations.
According to the Mayo Clinic, dealing with social anxiety is the way to build coping skills. This involves preparation as opposed to avoidance.
You may want to plan conversation topics in advance. Or you can learn relaxation exercises to use when you get nervous. Deep breathing exercises, counting on the inhalations and exhalations, can be helpful.
And make sure your goals are practical. Don’t set yourself up for failure by accepting invitations to multiple parties on a weekend. Start with one party and stay for a short period of time. Then work your way up to attending many social events.
Remind yourself of the positives.
According to Psych Central, we forget to acknowledge positives when we are nervous. So even if we have a successful social exposure experience, we notice what went wrong as opposed to what went right. What’s important is that you faced your fear and took action, not little things that didn’t play out in your favor.
In this process, notice what went well. You can’t control others, but you can control how treat yourself. Did you stay longer than you expected? Did you actually purchase something at the grocery store and interact with the cashier? Did you speak in public when you once found this act to be terrifying? These are all things to make note of and chalk up as major achievements.