Seven of 10 caregivers are non-Hispanic whites, 13 percent are African-American and the majority are female. While men provide assistance, female caregivers spend more hours per week with their charges than men, which means they are more likely to assist with the most difficult caregiving tasks. Because nearly two-thirds of caregivers are estimated also to be employed full- or part-time and come from low-income or poverty-stricken households, caregiving is an enormous burden. It’s stressful, time-consuming, tiring, and in some cases, physically and emotionally debilitating.
In short, being happy and even staying healthy while being a caregiver is a monumental task. It’s all about stolen moments, meals on the fly, and the stress of setting and maintaining a schedule of care along with work commitments. Just one little snafu – traffic tie-ups, an unexpected medical issue or food that goes bad at a crucial moment – and the whole house of cards could collapse into chaos. That’s a heavy burden for anyone to bear.
The United States Census Bureau estimates that just less than 6 million grandparents live with grandchildren in their household, so it’s an issue that won’t go away, particularly as the Baby Boomers begin to age and develop physical needs. Caregiving is truly a lifetime sentence for some, and the psychological crush of realizing that many be more than some can handle.
Depression Is a Major Issue
Depression is the number-one enemy of caregivers. Many are older adults themselves, and like everyone, they carry their own burdens. Their stresses may relate to income, physical ailments of their own, their relationship with the person to whom they’re providing care, or their relationships with others. Because of the many stresses of caregiving, it’s not unusual for a caregiver to become overwhelmed.
Depression can manifest in several ways. You may feel tired, sleep too little or too much, gain or lose weight, become irritable at the slightest provocation, lose interest in friends and activities that formerly brought great pleasure, start having headaches or other physical manifestations of mental distress, or start to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
But there are things that can be done to lessen the burden. While the suggestions aren’t going to fit every situation, at least some of them can be accomplished by nearly everyone. It may not solve the problems and stresses, but it can certainly help ease them.
Exercise Is A Panacea
The exhaustion and stress of caregiving can bring on any number of ailments, all of them exacerbated by sleeplessness or other manifestations of stress. It’s important that you stay healthy by eating the right foods and taking some steps toward preventive medicine like flu shots in anticipation of that season.
Exercise is a good way to relieve stress and can help maintain health. If the person under your care is ambulatory, perhaps a small daily walk will help both of you. Start small and work your way up. Even 10 minutes spent in motion can do wonders, so don’t worry if you can’t get much more time in on a daily basis. Doing something is better than doing nothing.
If your area isn’t particularly conducive to walking (it may have hills or other obstacles that make it difficult to navigate), then perhaps a local mall might work. Many of them open early and love to have senior citizens walking around. Keep in mind that things like dancing and gardening are activities that can count as exercise, and you may be able to do them with your patient. There are also seated exercises that can performed while you watch someone.
Food is essential to helping you relieve stress and maintain your health. Doctors and national health advocates stress a Mediterranean diet. The Mediterranean diet, as the name suggests, is based on the habits and lifestyles of people in that region, many of them older and still ambulatory and mentally sharp. Their diet is one reason, consisting largely of whole grains, vegetables, fruits, olive oil, nuts and fish, with little red meat. It’s a clean and healthy way of living that seems to promote good health.
Quick grab-and-go items may be necessary to eat at times, but try to balance it when and where you can. Always eat breakfast, and try to eat smaller meals during the day, tapering off by the evening. Your body needs fuel, but it needs the right kind of fuel for optimal functioning.
Stress Busters
More than moving and eating, relaxation techniques can relieve stress. These include meditation, biofeedback or simply sitting quietly at several points during the day and letting your cares go. Stress is debilitating over time, raising blood pressure and causing inattention, digestive problems, and sometimes aches and pains.
Meditation is a good tool to rest and get proper focus. Transcendental meditation just takes 20 minutes in the morning and evening and leaves the practitioner rested and relaxed. There are other forms of meditation that bring similar results.
Affirmations are important stress-busting tools. You must be realistic about what you can provide by way of care and be careful not to beat yourself up if you fail to live up the highest standards. You are doing what you can, and while we’re all impatient and self-flagellating at times, these are negative feelings that do little other than to burden you with guilt. Let them go, accept that your loved one is changing and be kind to yourself.
One final tip is to stay connected to an outside source that understands what you’re going through. There are many online communities and local meetups designed to allow caregivers to share and nurture each other through the stresses and tribulations of giving aid and comfort to someone else. Just talking about what you’re going through with others in the same boat can bring enormous relief and help you realize that you’re not alone in your struggle. Happiness and good health start with you, so do some outreach and take small, proactive steps to help yourself while you help others.