In fact, researchers say we have somewhere between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day. That’s a lot of thoughts.
The question is: How many of these thoughts are negative? How many chip away at a positive self-image? Which ones do you worry or obsess over?
Makes you think, doesn’t it…
In truth, we often have unhealthy mental habits that we aren’t aware of. That’s because we rarely take the time to slow down and observe just what we say to ourselves.
But these thoughts are often changeable. If you want to improve your thought process, take a look at these five unhealthy mental habits that just might hold you back.
1. Obsessing
Have you ever run something over and over in your mind with no end in sight? Psychology Today calls this the “Brood and Ruminate.” It’s safe to say that this term is more than fitting.
We all reflect on life circumstances. Unfortunately, there’s a point at which this becomes unhealthy. As Psychology Today says, we get stuck and replay the same scenes over and over. When this happens, we don’t solve anything. We just make ourselves feel miserable.
The good news is that there are things you can do about this unhealthy mental habit. Vicki Stark, MSW, MFT, tells Psychology Today that there are three steps you can take to stop obsessing. First, realize that pain is temporary. What you’re feeling now won’t always be this difficult. Second, remind yourself just how important you are. If someone doesn’t love you, this is no reflection on your value and worth. Other people shouldn’t define you. Third, focus on the future. Create a mental picture of how you will feel when you’ve accomplished new and different things.
2. Asking “What If?”
Asking “what if” is a common mental habit that we fall into. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s easy to question the past and the future on a regular basis. That said, this isn’t always the best mental habit to engage in. Granted, there can be times when we should ask “what if,” but other times it’s simply destructive to focus on the hypothetical and not the here and now.
So how do you change this? Dr. Karen Sargent revealed a number of helpful tips on TinyBuddha.com. The first of these is to notice when these questions arise. She says that rather than actually hearing the question, one may feel a loss of hope. This can be an indicator that the question itself isn’t healthy. Second, explore what goes along with this thought process when questions like these arise. Third, take the time to ask: “Is this question or statement helping me move forward?” This can teach you a lot about the question itself. Fourth, if you feel that the answer is no, ask yourself, “What question can I replace it with that will help me move forward?” This general process will help you to wade through a nasty case of the “what ifs.”
3. Beating Ourselves Up
OK, you screwed up. However, whatever you did is in the past. You can’t change what happened yesterday. The only thing you can change is what you do today. This is why beating yourself up is not a good thought process to engage in.
This concept can apply to many things -- from slipping up on a diet to sex with an ex. It can even apply to failing to stick to a new exercise routine. So realize what you did wrong (if anything) and move on. Life isn’t about being perfect. It’s about learning along the way.
4. Negative Self-Talk
No one wants to listen to someone who’s negative. So why would you put up with that from yourself? Makes you think, doesn’t it?
Negative self-talk is common. Unfortunately, we’re rarely aware of it. As a result, it continues and escalates. We tell ourselves terrible things throughout the day that go unchallenged. For example, we may tell ourselves that we look old or that we’re no good at a particular task.
So just what the heck can you do to change this unhealthy mental habit?
Dr. Ben Martin tells Psych Central that changing negative self-talk comes by challenging it. Once this is done, we can truly see just how wrong our self-talk may be. This is particularly true when we feel a negative emotion. This is the time to stop and figure out just what you’re thinking.
In addition, Dr. Martin says that there are four things you should do in that moment. The first is to give yourself a reality check. For example, he says you may want to ask what evidence backs up your thinking. In addition, you may want to ask if your thoughts are factual.
Second, Martin says to look for other explanations. This means asking yourself if the situation at hand can be viewed in a different way or if there is a different meaning to it than the one we have assigned.
Third, put it in perspective. The situation may not be as bad as you think it is, right? So ask yourself what the worst possible outcome could be -- and what the chances are of it happening.
Finally, redirect your thinking in terms of how it relates to your goals. For example, Dr. Martin says to ask: “Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals?” You can look for solutions for how to deal with the problem at hand. And of course, figure out what you could do differently in the future. In general, explore how this thinking is unhealthy. Martin says that this can be a great cattle prodder to change your perspective.
5. Awfulizing
We’ve all met someone who makes the worst out of every possible situation. A fender bender becomes a near-fatal accident. And if a store clerk was a bit curt, it was an absolute disaster that all of the other customers within ear’s reach noticed. This is awfulizing. It’s making the worst out of any situation.
In truth, being an awfulizer is a choice. That’s because, as the old saying goes, the glass is either half empty or half full. You can choose how you view your cup of life. If you want to be an awfulizer, make it a half-empty point of view. But if you want to be a positive person, take the glass-half-full perspective. You’ll be amazed at how changing this view changes your life.