Ingrid Lyne, a 40-year-old mother of three, had been found dismembered in Seattle, her body dumped in a recycling bin. The question is: Who killed her?
The terrifying answer has changed the landscape of online dating. And it’s one you won’t soon forget if you’re single.
The person currently charged with this brutal murder is Lyne’s boyfriend of just one month -- and Lyne met him on an online dating site.
A natural-born looker, it’s easy to see why Lyne would be attracted to John Charlton. His large blue eyes are just the first of his endearing physical qualities.
But scratch the surface, and you can see that Charlton is anything but wholesome. In fact, Tribune Media Wire reports that the 37-year-old has a long record that includes charges like a 2009 felony conviction for theft in Montana and a battery charge in Idaho that same year. He also received a negligent driving charge in Washington and a second-degree felony for aggravated robbery in Utah.
Are you picking up a theme here?
The moral of the story is that you really don’t know who you’re dealing with when it comes to the world of online dating. Lyne’s death is a sobering reminder that it can be dangerous -- and even deadly -- to consort with strangers.
Stranger Danger
However, the definition of “stranger” can be broad in the world of online dating. After hours of messaging followed by lengthy phone chats, we usually feel like we know the people we are meeting. But do we?
Unfortunately, online dating has become so common that we often toss this concept to the wayside. Let’s face it -- we all know stories of happily married couples who met online, so we hope for a similar result.
That said, not taking necessary precautions can open the door to more than murder. Theft and scams are another reality that online daters face. Take, for instance, the story of Jennifer Billingsly (name changed for privacy).
Billingsly was ecstatic when she met a seemingly nice gentleman online. Messaging turned into long, erotic phone conversations. She was sure that she had finally met her match.
But a big surprise would soon be revealed.
An African, Billingsly’s loving boyfriend claimed that he was planning to move to America. However, he needed a little “help.” That help was money. The lending of a few hundred dollars turned into thousands of dollars.
Within a few months, she began to catch on to the game. It was then that she decided to do a little research. Billingsly called her suitor’s work, determined to find out more information.
And what she found out was life-changing.
Not only was her “boyfriend” married, but he was also a scam artist. Billingsly was left penniless and broken-hearted.
Protect Yourself
These stories serve as a much-needed wake-up call to protect yourself in the online dating world by taking a few precautionary measures. The first of these is to do a simple background check. And if you’re inclined, you may want to take your research a step further.
“You should consider hiring a (private investigator) to run a background check and criminal check on the person, as well as a deep dive (OSINT) Open Source Intelligence Search,” Bruce Anderson, director of Cyber Intelligence & Investigations, tells Fox News. “If this person has been around or successful, there will be a lot of information on them.”
It's important to remember that background checks aren’t a service that most dating sites provide. In fact, Fox News points out that Match.com’s ‘Terms of Use Agreement,’ clearly states that the company is not liable if you get hurt or worse. And they say that similar clauses can be found on sites like eHarmony, Farmers Only and OKCupid.
Read the online dating safety suggestions offered by sites that you use. For example, Match.com reminds users to disregard requests for money and to report these requests. Had Billingsly read statements like these, she may not have fallen for a scam at all.
Further, don’t give out any personal information. If a new prospect asks for your e-mail address or phone number, refrain from giving it to them until you’re sure that you want to proceed with the relationship. And get a background check done before you offer up anything of this nature.
Red Flags
Where a person is living can be another red flag. For example, Match.com says to be cautious of a person who says they’re American but claims to be traveling or living out of the country. Users are told to be cautious of those who say that a spouse has died. This tactic can be used to generate sympathy, which can lead to a scam.
Caution should also be taken when you meet an online prospect in person. Friends will tell you to meet a person right away to see if you “click.” But Match.com says that you should get to know them first. After all, you can learn a lot about a person by reading between the lines of messages and phone conversations.
And when you do decide to meet in person, join your date in a public place. DO NOT GO TO HIS HOME ON A FIRST DATE. Go to a coffee shop or a restaurant. Plus, be sure that he doesn’t follow you when you leave.
Don't be secretive about where you’re going. Match.com advises telling a friend or family member both when and where you’re going. Charge and carry your phone with you at all times so that you are on the grid.
Further, don’t trust a date like you would a friend. Bring your phone and purse with you to the restroom so that they are not unattended. This will minimize your chances of having personal information stolen.
And remember not to let your date pick you up. Match.com strongly states that users need to drive separately. If your date isn’t in your hometown, take a taxi or rental car when you’re coming from or returning to the airport. Also, stay in a hotel as opposed to your date’s personal residence. Keep this location secret to protect your safety.
Finally, remember not to let your guard down too soon. After all, this wasn’t Lyne’s first date with her murderer. She clearly thought that she knew him -- and the result landed her in the morgue.
In truth, we can all learn from her story. This is the strongest tale possible when it comes to the hidden dangers of online dating. While online dating can lead to lifelong romance, it’s important to be cautious in the process.