So how do you argue in a healthy manner?
The first step is to do just that -- argue. Some couples will try not to fight because arguing feels wrong. However, arguing is an essential part of a healthy relationship.
According to Women’s Health, arguing sweeps out negative emotions. When we bottle things up, they’re eventually going to surface. So we’ve got to voice our disagreements to clear the air.
“Fighting is good and productive because it clears the emotional channels of frustration, resentment and anger, which can lead to behaviors that create conflict," relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, tells Women’s Health.
To counter these feelings, say what you are feeling in a productive manner. This means choosing your words wisely.
According to You Beauty, researchers have found that the wording you choose can keep arguments in check. One study, published in the journal Health Psychology, found that cognitive processing words could keep arguments under control. You Beauty says that words like think, consider, understand, because and reason are examples of this. These words show that you’re both listening to and processing the argument at hand.
Find a healthy compromise regarding the argument in which you’re involved. "You don't need to find the best answer; just something that you're both willing to try, and see how it goes," Dr. Bob Montgomery, president of the Australian Psychological Society, tells Body and Soul. In truth, there may be no right or wrong -- just differing views.