Not only is she forgetting to turn off appliances, she’s struggling to get up the stairs. Your biggest fear is a call at two a.m. saying she has fallen and just can’t get up.
The question is: when is it time to move to an assisted living facility? Following are seven signs you need to know-and how to proceed once the decision to move to assisted living is made.
1. You’re afraid your parent might fall.
Are you noticing that your parent isn’t quite as steady these days? This is one of the biggest signs that it’s time to consider an assisted living facility.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), “one out of three older people falls each year, but less than half tell their doctor.” This means your parent might conceal a fall out of shame or the fear of losing his or her independence.
So keep an eye out when it comes to your parent’s ability to get around in general. This will help you to determine when it’s time to make a change.
2. He or she has dementia.
Something as simple as forgetting to take needed medication can greatly affect your parent’s health. That’s why you need to know just how much medical care your parent has been requiring.
One of the most common areas in which family members notice this revolves around dementia. According to the American Grandparents Association (AGA), “plenty of family members come to realize that their parent's care needs have moved beyond the caregiver's physical or emotional abilities, particularly if a loved one has dementia.”
This may require the help of an assisted living facility. You’ll know when dementia has progressed to a point of necessary extra help.
3. Hygiene has been overlooked.
Is your parent having difficulty showering independently? Or is he or she struggling to keep up with getting dressed? This may indicate a need for a higher level of care.
According to the AGA, “sometimes a senior parent is having trouble with personal hygiene such as showering or keeping clothing clean, or they need help coping with incontinence, dressing themselves, eating properly or other day-to-day care.”
If you’re noticing these signs, you may want to consider an assisted living facility. After all, you want your parent to be well maintained.
4. Your parent is lonely and needs friends.
Loneliness and isolation can be a reality of aging. That’s because friends pass away or lose the ability to visit companions.
According to the AGA, “if a senior family member is showing signs of loneliness or depression, such as giving up hobbies, withdrawing from friends, or rarely leaving the house, it may be time to consider a senior living residence.”
So look for these signs. This is a large indicator of a need to move to a more social environment.
5. He or she requires more hospitalizations.
If your parent has had an increasing need for medical care, he or she may need to be in assisted living. Take note of how many hospitalizations your parent has had and why.
Then ask yourself if these hospitalizations could have been avoided if your parent was in an assisted living facility. If there are a lot of situations on your list, you definitely know it’s time.
6. Your parent wouldn’t be able to get out if there was a fire.
There’s nothing scarier than worrying about an aging parent getting out in the case of a fire. Quite frankly, this thought is terrifying.
According to the U.S. Fire Administration, “… older adults face the greatest relative risk of dying in a fire.” In fact, the risk more than doubles after the age of 65. But that’s not all. After age 75, it more than triples. And after age 85, it quadruples.
So observe your parent’s ability to get out in an emergency. And if you think he or she couldn’t escape, consider an assisted facility. It beats the alternative of injury or death.
Now that you know the signs of a need for assisted living, what do you do when you do decide to actually make this change? According to the AARP, there are a number of steps to take into consideration when choosing a facility.
The first is how to find a good facility in general. You can start by talking to family friends about which facilities they would recommend. This will point you in the direction of a reliable facility.
In addition, there are organizations that can help in the research process. The first of these is the Assisted Living Federation of America. According to the AARP, “the Assisted Living Federation of America (ALFA)… provides lists of its member residences by each state. These are mostly for-profit residences. The lists do not include all residences in each state.”
Further, you can consult the American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging. According to the AARP, “the American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging (AAHSA)… provides lists of member residences by state. These are not-for-profit.”
Plus, you can consult the Eldercare Locator. According to the AARP, “Eldercare Locator helps you find the closest Area Agency on Aging (AAA) office and the state long-term care ombudsman’s office.”
Next, you want to plan a visit to the facility itself. The AARP says to be sure to involve your parent in the research process. “Take them with you on the tours of each facility and let them handle as much of the talking and decision-making as possible.”
In addition, know what questions to ask. The AARP has created a printable questionnaire to assist in this process. So use it for guidance. And bring it with you when you visit facilities.
Further, notice what goes on during visits. “As you and your loved one meet with staff and take a tour, pay attention to how you feel and your surroundings. Spend time with the staff and residents. Ask them what they like and dislike about the place. Make a second, unannounced visit on a weekend or in the evening. You may find out important information by dropping by unannounced,” says the AARP.
Finally, never sign a contract on the fly. In other words, know what you’re signing.
“The more specific the contract, the greater your loved one’s legal protection. Compare information in the sales brochure with that in the contract, paying close attention to fees, level of care, health care services and discharge policies. Benefits that a residence promotes in a brochure should also appear in the contract,” says the AARP.