Of equal importance, refrain from putting another person down or bringing up comparisons to someone you don’t like. For example, Neuman says that saying “you’re just like your mother” would be unhealthy. Never hurt someone you love in this manner. 

Plus, the past should be left there. What’s important is the present. If a past issue has been solved, leave it there. Don’t rehash spilled milk. And if it’s that important to bring up the past, set up a time to discuss the issue. Counseling may even be needed to bridge difficult topics. 

Another unhealthy argument style involves abuse by physically threatening another person. You shouldn’t destroy your environment or try to scare the person with whom you have had a disagreement. Breaking or punching things is just plain terrifying. Keep your calm in any situation that you face. 

Further, try not to nag. No one wants to be followed around and taunted. You’re not five. You’re an adult, so act like it. 

And along these same lines, don’t pull back on a promise and decide not to do something that has already been agreed to. Two wrongs don’t make a right. This is an unfair act that should be avoided in any argument.

And, of course, Neuman reminds readers not to sulk or stand in silence to punish or upset your partner. Too many people do this. Silence and sulking are bad words in the world of arguments. No one deserves the silent treatment.