This can happen when a friend begins to drain you emotionally. Or it can happen when a friend becomes abusive.
"If every time I'm talking with someone they are saying things like 'this is awful, this always happens to me' this is a red a flag," Karen Valencic, founder of Spiral Impact and an expert in conflict resolution, told CBS News.
For example, if a friend is a constant Debbie Downer, this may be a sign of a toxic friendship. After all, friendship is a two-way street. It’s not just about your problems or hers. It’s about joining up as a team to spend time together and leaning on one another for mutual guidance and support.
Friends who are overly critical can be considered toxic. If your friend kindly tells you that while you look great, your jeans are too tight, then that’s girl code for “I’m trying to help you better yourself.” But if your friend constantly nags about every little thing and puts you down, you’ve got a problem. This is where a line needs to be drawn.
That said, it’s important to be aware of what your friends are going through. In other words, you don’t want to be heartless. If your friend is having a tough time, cut her some slack. However, if your friendship becomes a constant struggle, it might not be the healthiest situation for your overall growth and wellbeing.
Really, it all comes down to trust and security. You need to determine first if a friend is trustworthy. For example, if you don’t feel as if you can trust her with your husband or boyfriend, that’s a red flag.
In addition, it’s a matter of shared values. If you’re constantly questioning your friend’s values, there may not be enough substance to hold the friendship together. While this is painful, it’s one of the hard truths about lasting friendships.