Methods of Making the Announcement

There will obviously be a decision on how, when and where you make your announcement. The wrong way is probably to surprise people when they are in a public situation, particularly a child who is in school. You also may have to convey important information, such as if you want to be taken off life support at some point, your method of burial (cremation, in the ground, in a mausoleum, burial at sea), and how and where you wish your remains to be placed.

Some people choose to have a spokesperson make the announcement. They select a loved one or highly valued family member or trusted friend and ask them to tell everyone. You also could hold a meeting and make the announcement or ask your doctor to talk to them. You may choose to speak individually with all concerned to personalize the news and soften the blow somewhat.

The most common response from people, once they get over their initial shock and grief, is to ask what they can do to make your time pass easier or be more pleasant. If you have a plan in place, then you’re OK. It may be as simple as continuing to visit or help with pets, shopping and other concerns. But in some cases, merely talking with someone who has concerns about your condition can be helpful for both parties.

Telling Children

One of the toughest issues is letting young children or grandchildren know about your condition. Some opt out of letting them know, choosing not to burden the child with bad news. But most professionals argue against that, noting that children as young as four years old need closure. Just be sure to keep the conversation appropriate for the age group. Some children don’t process the news immediately, while others have immediate questions. Keep the lines of communication open because children may ponder the issue for a long time before finally asking their questions. It’s important to let them know that grief or even fear is a natural condition when confronted with the terminal news.